I Promised You A Blog Post

I promised you a blog post

But all I can do is stare at a blank screen

Struggling to write

The one thing I'm good at

The one thing I've always been able to do

So I'll try to say it in a new way

Words aligned into neat little lines

Freestyle it from my heart

Even though my thoughts knot and snarl

With one click of a button

I sent a Pack-and-Play to your doorstep

And it will never feel like enough

To say that I'm happy for you

And sorry

For all the times I've been selfish and cruel

Or just confusing

And thankful for

And all the times you've picked up the phone

Pretended like nothing was wrong

My first friend

My first best friend

You are a new person now

Your belly round 

(but not that round)

A new girl inside

For our tribe of strong and fragile women

A new partner at your side

Who makes you laugh

In a way I've never heard you laugh before

The kind of laugh that means you're truly happy

I promise you a blog post

As I play the role of court jester

Clutching a paper plate and a plastic cup

Everyone laughs as we shower you with gift cards

Cringe at chocolate bars melted inside diapers

Cut cakes made of pink fondant

Ooo and aww in all the right places

Tiny clothes with cupcake covered behinds

None say Future Feminist

Like I know how you will raise a daughter to be

She will have 

The best of both worlds

Southern sweetness

Northern nerve

Just like you

In just 4 months 

You will be a mother

A role that seems so adult

When did we become adults?

I still think of us as two heads

In a sea of family

One blonde and one brunette

Always together

I write this late at night

When I know you'll be sleeping

Being the responsible one

While I stay up

The dreamer and star counter

Because I promised you a blog post

Even though you deserve so much more